dealing with anger

Ok... I'll admit it. I'm angry now. I'm really angry. God only knows why I feel motivated to write at this moment. 

Someone came by my house today that was very rude... very angry. That, of course, ruined my day. 

I'm sort of a sponge. I love to talk to people that are happy. It cheers me up. A similar thing happens when I'm around people that are angry. I can't shut anger out. It either has to be resolved right then and there... or I get angry too.

Its a disease.

The guy that came by my house believed that his anger was justified. In truth, I knew he felt this way. He had revealed this anger to me time after time. So why was today different?

We are leaving. My wife and I are heading back to the United States. This man will be left to deal with his anger. I would like to think that I could play a role in resolving his anger. I haven't succeeded yet. It usually sounds more like an argument than a therapy session.

I can pray. Even though I know the power of prayer, it still seems like a cop out.

I have a personal relationship with this guy. Can I just walk away? Maybe I have to... I know that God is at work. I have to trust that.

If you think this problem is going to resolve itself by the end of this post, you are wrong. God will have to show me what to do in this specific instance.

But that isn't the point. This post isn't about a specific instance.

Anger ruins everything. Righteous anger is great! Don't mishear me. It is used to expose problems and create an opportunity for healing. You have to realize that only God knows if your anger is truly justified. We can play the justification game all day long. In the end... Only God knows.

Will your anger expose problems and bring healing? Will your anger just ruin someone's day and ultimately lead to nothing?

The guy that vented had no intention of finding healing. His complaints weren't aimed at me. They were aimed at someone else. I still had to stand there and listen. I either had to agree and feed the problem or disagree and create an arguement. 

We argued.

We didn't get anywhere. We were both angry when he left. 

Double the anger.

Have you ever been loved for no apparent reason? Let me be specific: 

Have you ever been standing in line at the grocery store and had the person in front of you insist that you go first?

  

Have you ever been to lunch with a friend and had them pick up the check?

Have you ever had someone hold the door for you? You know the scenario... you are so thankful that you run your final steps to get inside so you can show your appreciation.

Love is infectious. So is anger.

How do you want to impact this world? You will leave a mark whether you intend to or not.

Consider the other guy when you are angry. Consider the strangers. Consider your family. 

When I'm angry, I don't allow people to go ahead of me in the check out line. 

When I'm angry, I don't pick up the check for my friends lunch. 

When I'm angry, I don't hold the door for anyone.

Anger steals joy. It steals the desire to spread joy. It steals the happiness of those that would have otherwise been blessed.

I'm less angry now. Writing is therapeutic. 

I'm going to look for an opportunity to bless someone else. I'm going to try harder than usual. I'm going to see to it that someone smiles because of me. 

Ultimately, this person will smile because someone else was angry. 

Won't that be a fun way to break the cycle?

"Love wins." - Rob Bell

 

moldy kraft singles

About a year ago my wife and I were walking around downtown Venice, Florida. We had lived in Venice for a few months. It was known to be a very wealthy area. The constant barrage of art and craft shows at least kept up an appearance of wealth.

Anyway… Sarah and I were looking for a night out. We decided to head downtown to grab dinner and go for a walk. I even wore my sport jacket.

The evening felt perfect. We could feel a soft ocean breeze. We walked up and down streets, looking into shop windows. We stopped for dinner at a little Italian restaurant before walking some more.

Everyone that was out looked their best. Old men smoked expensive cigars while old women walked expensive dogs. Expensive cars cruised up and down the street. We started feeling… expensive.

It felt great. 

Finally, we stopped for ice cream. We strolled in, looked at the menu and our jaws dropped. An ice cream cone is HOW MUCH? Do I need to insure the cone in case I drop it?

It didn’t matter how tasty it was.

The show was over. We didn’t drive there in an expensive car. We certainly weren’t walking an expensive dog. We were brought back to Earth by… ice cream.

Which brings me to moldy Kraft singles…

I opened the refrigerator once and went straight for the cheese drawer. I wanted a snack. The only cheese left was a small stack of Kraft singles. They looked… old. I think they were in there for quite some time. I considered serving them with a glass of wine to our friends. Aged cheese and wine. I laughed out loud.

Nobody would fall for that.

We only temporarily fell for our act of wealth.

We were trying to be something we weren’t on our downtown date. It wasn’t as funny as the thought of serving molded Kraft singles as an appetizer. It was all a facade nonetheless. Sticker shock on an ice cream cone ruined our evening. Most of the drive home was spent talking about it. What a waste!

We put on a mask. It wasn’t even an original one. It was borrowed from thousands of people doing the same thing that we were doing.

God didn’t make us all the same. In fact, I don’t think He made two of us even close to the same. So why do we try so hard to be like other people? Why do we try to forget who we really are? Sarah and I did not recently retire to our summer home in Venice like so many of the people we had seen on our date. We lived in a small apartment and worked in Venice.

God gave us all specific talents, desires… God gave us all something that we love. When we reach for the things that God gave other people we are coveting. God wants us to have the things that He has for us. Could you imagine the way your parents would feel if on Christmas morning you opened your presents and then started trading them with the other kids in the room?

Doesn’t God know what we need better than we do? Doesn’t God know what we want better than we do? We should be a little more content. Especially since God has promised to fulfill a great work in us.

He is working on us. He is building us. We have no idea what we really need or want in order to become what God wants us to be.

One last thought:

If God is our father, that makes us royalty. God is King so I am a prince. Why am I trying to trade that for an ice cream cone? I am what God made me. I am going to be what God is making me to be.