How do we worship?

In light of our music topic. . .


How many times have speakers at our various churches said something that left us feeling like we were some piece of crap God happened to find under a rock somewhere and decided, out of obligation, to save us?


During my more formative years as a Christian, when I was still learning the ropes and deciding on the "biggies" of what I believed to be truth, I often questioned whether I should be listening only to Christian music or not. Since I had time to grow up and develop a lot of my taste in music (Neil Young, Paul Simon) before I became a Christian, many of the artists I enjoyed were secular.


So I tried to convert my taste in music. I bought a Steven Curtis Chapman cd. I purchased some worship mixes. I tried to listen to my old music less and less while listening to the new, Christian stuff more.


Time passed. I found myself thinking about old songs I used to listen to. I would put in an old cd for a song or two and then switch it back out, feeling guilty the entire time. I told people, other Christians, I was trying to stop listening to secular music and they responded, "Me too!" But they seemed a lot more successful at it. I mean, come on--who else at my church, at my age, wanted to listen to old stuff like Neil Young and Paul Simon? Not many. I felt pretty alone. Pop-ish, Christian music was the norm.


At one point, a guest speaker came to my church and talked about how he was on a car ride with one of his youth and some of the kid's music (Marilyn Manson or something like that) queued up on the student's car cd player. The guest speaker said he took the kids music out of the cd player and tossed it out the window. He proceeded to throw out all the music that didn't "lift up Jesus." This youth later came and thanked him for helping him be set free.


That story made me feel so guilty. I missed all my old music. Maybe the next step was to burn it or give it all away!


Luckily, I never got that far. I'm not sure where or why, but I eventually came to my senses. I realized that the very reason I enjoyed much of my secular music was because some of it spoke to me on a spiritual level.


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One such song that speaks to my heart as a Christian on a journey towards God is "Thrasher" by Neil Young.

This song talks about one man's journey toward truth and away from the things that distract or weigh him down--comfort, friends without vision, science that attacks spiritual beliefs, too much protection.

"With a one-way ticket to the land of truth,
And my suitcase in my hand..."

In my mind, this line describes his journey toward truth. It is my very favorite line of any song.

"The motel of lost companions waits with heated pool and bar.
But me I'm not stopping there,
got my own row left to hoe.
Just another line in the field of time. . ."

This highlights his temptation to sit, rest, relax versus his knowledge of the journey he has to undertake, his "line in the field of time."

For whatever reason, this song truly speaks to my heart and something deep within resonates the message and tone of this song. The desire for truth, the knowledge of my journey and responsibilities ahead--I see them now in a new and much more beautiful light than before.

Sadly, the beauty of this song was almost lost to me because I believed there were vices in my life that were not there. I have/had many vices, but my music choice simply was not one of them. The music I listen to, I listen to because it strikes some chord deep within me that helps me to voice the feelings I have about my journey, my adventure, and the path in which God has placed me.

How many times do we go to church or talk with other Christians and leave feeling like we need to "do better?" How often does the message leave us feeling guilty, like we are not good enough? These are not things Jesus communicated to his followers.

There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. He made us exactly as we are, music tastes and all, and that is exactly who we should be--ourselves. When we act as who God made us to be, we are, in fact, worshipping.

My wife, the future theater professor, is worshipping God when she studies, directs, acts, and teaches theater. My friend Andy is worshipping when he's playing hammered dulcimer and singing about whatever gibberish is in his head. I am worshipping when I'm listening to Neil Young and contemplating my journey towards him (Jesus) and away from distraction.

How do you worship God? What do you do that speaks to the core of who you are?

I'm happy to say I didn't throw any of my cd's away. I did get rid of my copies of Grand Theft Auto 3 (which I should have gotten rid of. that's one decision I don't regret), but that's another story. I happily listen to many different artists today, Christian and secular, and don't even pay attention to their spiritual title anymore. I simply listen to what they are saying in their music.

CaryJoice@gmail.com is my e-mail address. Feel free to contact me, or, simply comment on the site. The more honest, the better!

Peace, folks.

Jesus On the Radio

We talk about music a lot.

Thats not an apology.

I was listening to the song "Run" by Snow Patrol. This might be one of my favorite songs. It always reminds me of my good friend Cary. Specifically, it reminds me of the time his girlfriend (now wife) told him that the song makes her think of him. What a great song.

This is my favorite part:
"Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear."

The song took on new meaning recently.

My daughter, Evie, had a febrile seizure in the Springfield Airport. We were minutes away from boarding a plane. This was supposed to be the first leg of our move to the Dominican Republic. Instead, we skipped our flight and took an ambulance to the hospital. We didn't know what was going on. We were so scared.

The whole time I was in God's face. I demanded His attention. I begged for Him to hear me. It was a very raw prayer. I remember letting everything pour out. I pleaded, I cussed, I cried... In that moment I would have traded anything to know that Evie would be alright. In that moment, I didn't filter my prayer. It was real.

"Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear."

I couldn't hear His voice. I couldn't see His face. I was scared and I felt alone. He was right beside me. He answered my prayer before I even prayed it.

I am blown away that God revealed that to me through "Run".

The song carried a meaning for me for years. It reminded me of my friend. I sang the lyrics and thought of Cary and Candace. Then, when I faced sadness and fear, God reminded me of those lyrics to comfort me in a new way. The message was there in front of me all along.

The Bible works this same way!

They are just words. It is just a poem. It is just a story of a boy that threw a rock at a really bulky guy. We take a scholarly approach to interpreting the message. We take it at face value. How could we do anything else?

Then we have a moment in our life that changes us. The words become comfort. The words become joy. The words become something... spiritual. We are refined, grown, matured... through these words. We read a paragraph that we have read dozens of times, but now, we finally see.

Don't mishear me. I believe that this happens because these are the words of God. However, I do not believe the words of God are limited to just the Bible. I believe that the words of God can be in a song. I believe that God can speak to Cary in a breeze. I believe that God can speak to us in our dreams.

Truth is truth, regardless of the source.

Jesus will meet you in unexpected places sometimes. If you aren't careful, you might miss Him. Be ready. Expect Him. I never know when He will speak to me.

I never know when He is going to be on the radio.

Can you relate?

Leave a comment and share your stories. If you're not signed up to blogger... email me: johnniesen@gmail.com

God saying "hello"

Currently Listening To: Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Rich Mullins, in his song,"Elijah" states: "I wanna hear some music once again, 'cause it's the finest thing I've ever found." After reading John's last post, it brought to mind several songs that I think will always speak directly to the inner-most places of my heart and reminded me of how music is definitely one of the greatest things in the world.

I have to commute about 45 minutes or so each day to work. I managed to find a couple people to carpool with to work. With 45 minutes of driving, we have lots of conversations. Today, the talk happened to dance lightly around the subject of faith.

What brought it to this point was a Tom Petty song (Learnin' to Fly) that queued up on my cd player.

A discussion about Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers ensued. At some point, I randomly stated "I will never, EVER put 'Free Fallin' " on cd."

"why?" my carpool-ee asks

"Because, there are things in my life that I think God uses to communicate to me the importance of that particular moment. Whenever "Free Fallin' " comes onto the radio, I know deep inside that God is telling me 'Notice this moment. I'm here. I love you. It's all going to be okay.' It's like God uses that song to say 'Hello' to me in a very Cary way. There are other things He uses to do that as well--a few other songs (American Pie is another example), small whirlwinds full of leaves that are here and gone in moments. These things just remind me to appreciate each moment."

After this there was a slight awkward silence in the car. I really don't know how "religous" my carpool-mates are, but I am grateful for the opportunity to share my faith in kind of a side-ways method. A few light comments were made and the conversation moved on.

These moments I brought up in the carpool are far and few between, since little whirlwinds don't pop up that often and I never listen to the radio. But I can distinctly remember each of these times in my mind.

I've been a Christian long enough that I can't even really imagine not knowing that I've got this personal God that enjoys meeting me exactly where I'm at and meeting me at my level. We've got a God that likes to stoop down and simply say 'Hello'. That, to me, is one of the most wonderful and mysterioius things about our faith. And that's the faith I like to share with others. The loving, personal, freeing God who loves us as we are and doesn't sit in condemnation but simply draws us closer and closer to Him in whatever way we need at that moment.

Peace, folks.

codeword "Deathcab"

I sometimes struggle with finding my place within the Christian community. There are those times when I sit down to talk with a Pastor. I immediately put on my mask.

"How are you John?"

"Blessed... blessed." 

There isn't anything wrong with that response... if you mean it. I don't always. I rarely talk like that, so when I do, it is almost always fake. 

You see, there are currently 2 versions of myself. John and Christian John take turns, depending on the audience. It can be a mangled mess. 

I want to be Christian John, but I don't want to alienate anyone. I don't think Jesus walked around with a cheesy smile and a stiff handshake. I want to make friends and be loved. I don't always know which version of myself can accomplish this better.

Then something happened.

This summer, my family was touring the mid-west visiting friends. We stayed with a pastor and his wife for several days. We were really uncomfortable when we first got together. The first few hours we were walking on eggshells. We tried to keep the conversation about church or missions work... you know, things pastors talk about. 

They told us that some friends were going to join us for dinner. Their friends showed up and they seemed to be just like us. Come to think of it, even the pastor and his wife seemed more like us. I wondered if I could open up to these people. I couldn't think of anything else. What if we are all just normal people? 

During dinner I was asked what kind of music I listened to. This was my chance. I could lie and name some band that is ALWAYS on the Christian radio station. Or, I could take off my mask and reveal a sinner. 

"Um, I like this band called Snow Patrol."

"Oh yea. They're really good. Have you heard of Deathcab for Cutie?"

I was in. No more masks.  

"I love Deathcab!"

The rest of the night was great. We talked about music, friends, Jesus... It was a very organic evening. It was beautiful. That moment was a catalyst in my life.  

We have these new friends. They came over for dinner a few weeks ago. They wanted us to play some music on Itunes. I was nervous for a second. I wondered if they would be offended by my taste in music. Then I remembered what happened this summer. I decided to play my favorites list. 

"No way! Hey Linds, they like Deathcab!"

I think there are millions of us. There are millions wearing masks that are really cool people underneath. The best way to find these really cool people is to take off your mask. They will take theirs off as soon as you do. In my experience, they are secretly hoping for a chance to relax and be real.

You see, Jesus doesn't want us to be fake. When we are fake, we are still our regular sinner selves. We've just covered that with a lie. 

So here it is. There will be no masks worn by the authors of this blog. We will offend before we will lie. 

Come at us with your junk. We have plenty of our own. 

Lets show the world Jesus. Lets surround ourselves with His grace.

- John

Jesus Blog

A friend of mine just had a great idea.

"Hey, let's combine all our thoughts, writings, songs, ideas and old blogs into one!"

This is Jesus Blog and that's what it is. In theory, we will have many various writings, both creative and cognitive, depending on what mood the writer is in.

We will see what happens.

Peace, folks.