codeword "Deathcab"

I sometimes struggle with finding my place within the Christian community. There are those times when I sit down to talk with a Pastor. I immediately put on my mask.

"How are you John?"

"Blessed... blessed." 

There isn't anything wrong with that response... if you mean it. I don't always. I rarely talk like that, so when I do, it is almost always fake. 

You see, there are currently 2 versions of myself. John and Christian John take turns, depending on the audience. It can be a mangled mess. 

I want to be Christian John, but I don't want to alienate anyone. I don't think Jesus walked around with a cheesy smile and a stiff handshake. I want to make friends and be loved. I don't always know which version of myself can accomplish this better.

Then something happened.

This summer, my family was touring the mid-west visiting friends. We stayed with a pastor and his wife for several days. We were really uncomfortable when we first got together. The first few hours we were walking on eggshells. We tried to keep the conversation about church or missions work... you know, things pastors talk about. 

They told us that some friends were going to join us for dinner. Their friends showed up and they seemed to be just like us. Come to think of it, even the pastor and his wife seemed more like us. I wondered if I could open up to these people. I couldn't think of anything else. What if we are all just normal people? 

During dinner I was asked what kind of music I listened to. This was my chance. I could lie and name some band that is ALWAYS on the Christian radio station. Or, I could take off my mask and reveal a sinner. 

"Um, I like this band called Snow Patrol."

"Oh yea. They're really good. Have you heard of Deathcab for Cutie?"

I was in. No more masks.  

"I love Deathcab!"

The rest of the night was great. We talked about music, friends, Jesus... It was a very organic evening. It was beautiful. That moment was a catalyst in my life.  

We have these new friends. They came over for dinner a few weeks ago. They wanted us to play some music on Itunes. I was nervous for a second. I wondered if they would be offended by my taste in music. Then I remembered what happened this summer. I decided to play my favorites list. 

"No way! Hey Linds, they like Deathcab!"

I think there are millions of us. There are millions wearing masks that are really cool people underneath. The best way to find these really cool people is to take off your mask. They will take theirs off as soon as you do. In my experience, they are secretly hoping for a chance to relax and be real.

You see, Jesus doesn't want us to be fake. When we are fake, we are still our regular sinner selves. We've just covered that with a lie. 

So here it is. There will be no masks worn by the authors of this blog. We will offend before we will lie. 

Come at us with your junk. We have plenty of our own. 

Lets show the world Jesus. Lets surround ourselves with His grace.

- John