rope sandals and coffee

The authors of this blog are very close friends. You might know that...

Biblical friendship is a strange thing. I differentiate because there are types of friendship that are not biblical. (Drinking buddies for instance) 

Now that I wrote that I have to clarify. Nothing is wrong with having a beer. Something IS wrong with having 12 beers. There is a line in there that is between you and God. The bible calls the line "drunkenness." You know when you've crossed it. 

Now I am WAY off subject.

I've had a lot of friends that didn't bring me closer to God. There was a point in my life where I gave up those friends to give my life to Sarah and God. 

I put God second in that list for a reason. Sarah made me want to be closer to Him. God was second for a time. 

Sarah and I dated for 2 weeks before I asked her to marry me. I have no idea why she thought that was a good idea. Her parents were less thrilled. I don't blame them one bit. One of the rules in order to marry Sarah was that I had to get a job. Sarah's mom found a job for me at a local dry cleaners. 

Thats when a very cool thing happened.

I was immediately partnered to press shirts with this guy Cary. He was awesome. He didn't seem to care about a thing. I don't mean that in a bad way. He had passion. He was very nice. He just didn't seem to let things bother him. He always wore a bandana and drank from gallon jugs of water that he brought with him EVERYWHERE. He also wore rope sandals in the winter. 

I loved working with Cary.

One morning, Cary asked me if I wanted to meet his friends. For some reason, I was REALLY nervous. Friends were people that always got me in trouble. For the past several weeks, I had abandoned my old friends. I didn't know if I wanted new friends. I agreed to meet them for coffee.

I don't remember the details of our first hang out. I can't tell you who all was there. I remember it being incredibly liberating. Here was a group of guys that didn't care about the things that I had spent so many years caring about. They talked about Jesus without making it sound phony. His name kept coming up in sentences. I thought we were only supposed to talk about Him in church. I remember feeling awkward when they talked loudly. I didn't want people to know we were "religious."

We started hanging out several nights a week. As I grew closer to my friends I noticed that I was growing farther from my old habits. I noticed that my relationship with Sarah was getting so much richer. I was excited by these changes. The most important things in my life were Sarah, my friends and God. 

Did you notice that God was number 3? God knew I would put him in the 3rd slot. He knew what He was doing.

God had shown me true friendship for the first time. I wanted more. 

I could talk to my new friends about my struggles because they were constantly sharing theirs. I never felt judged. I started to notice that our burdens were growing lighter. We were being set free. For my friends it might have been a slower progression. For me, a massive weight was being lifted very quickly. 

One day our friendship progressed into something new. We wanted to apply it. We wanted to set everyone free. God became the most important thing in my life and I wanted to do something about it. 

God went from the 3rd slot to the first.

That was when God did an unexpected thing. Jeremy announced that he was moving to Springfield for college. Cary announced that he was moving away for college as well. The four of us quickly became Brent and I.

It was very sad. 

God accomplished some very big things during this transition. Jeremy married his long time girlfriend Kate. Sarah and I joined a mission group in Florida. Brent became a missionary to Ukraine where he would end up meeting his wife. Cary fell in love with Candace and didn't have to be alone anymore. (thats an inside joke for Cary)

God had accomplished something great during our time apart. There are thousands of miles separating us. We are still linked as strongly as ever because we all have Jesus. God isn't finished yet.

Biblical friendship is rich. I can't tell you where to find it. I think you have to try to make it. I believe that being more like Jesus is the first step to being a great friend. My friends brought me to Jesus. They showed me His grace. I don't know how God would have saved me without using them. I don't know what would have happened to my marriage with Sarah.

There are a lot of people that are hurting. You see them in college, at the bookstore, at the park... They are everywhere. Some people are really good at looking as if they are just fine. In fact, they might even look like they are doing better than you are. That's called a mask.

Look at the friendships that are already around you. Make an attempt to be more like Jesus everyday and watch those friendships start to change. You have no idea what seeds you can plant. You have no idea how free you can be. Lives will start to change and maybe someone will find Jesus that never knew Him before.

Prayer

I kept meaning to update this blog.

Every time I checked for new comments or emails I would think to myself, "I need to write a new post."

I understand that nobody waits breathlessly for new posts from us.

I started to realize that I was putting this off. There is no good reason. I wasn't scared to post. I just felt like I didn't have anything super important to say.

It dawned on me tonight... thats the same way I view prayer.

I have 2 kids. One is a baby and the other is 2. My wife and I make a point of praying at every meal. We are trying to instill those habits into our children. We bless the food and then move right into the next, more enjoyable phase.

Real prayer time for most people does not include a meal. Have you ever been at a church picnic? You know how you can feel your stomach churn with hunger. You are so ready to dive right into the food while the pastor gives the LONGEST blessing you have ever heard? The whole time you are thinking, "end it... I'm really hungry." That is how a lot of Christians view meal time prayers.

It sounds crazy... but I know you have done it on one level or another. 

Anyway... praying for God's blessing on a meal is rarely the spiritual connection that the Bible describes when talking about prayer. That is totally our fault. I'm not discounting blessing the food.

Sometimes I lay down at night and try to conjure up the will to pray. I finally tell myself that God doesn't want me to fake it... and I fall asleep. 

How insulting that must be. 

My daughter, Evie, always follows a routine when I put her to bed. If she decided one night to skip the nightly kiss, I would be crushed. Sometimes she gives me a quick peck and then goes right back to cuddling with her stuffed Eeyore. I'm not offended on those nights. At least she made the effort for my sake. That tells me that she still cares about me.

Sometimes we have to pray for God's sake. He is our father after all. I'm not saying that God needs us. He is the infinite God of the universe, after all. But, He does WANT us. He wants to spend time with us. He wants to hear from us.

I believe that God enjoys hearing our prayers about the same way I enjoy getting a kiss from my daughter. When we don't mean it, God still might be happy that we took the time to talk to Him.

I often realize that when I start out a prayer without feeling very enthusiastic, it turns out to be a very close, real prayer. I admit that I am tired, burdened... God lightens that load to meet me where I am.

Prayer isn't about the words that we say. God knows our hearts. Phony sentiments only make us look like fools. So why not lay it out there?

God often surprises me when I don't feel like I deserve it. 

Priorities

Currently Listening: My Sundown - Jimmy Eat World; To Me, This Is Heaven - Jimmy Eat World

So, I had this conversation with my wife the other day. It's a conversation I've had with many people I know on multiple occasions. It's the typical "oh great, Cary's talking about life's purpose again" conversation.

If you know me at all, then this is probably something you and I have discussed at some point. For a long time, I have struggled with the idea of wanting to have some artistic skill or ability I was super-good at. I would use this ability to stir others' hearts and draw them to God, as I had been in my adolescent years.

But, no matter what I tried, I never could do anything as well as I wanted. I practiced guitar and remained mediocre. I painted and still couldn't get past stick figures. My sketches never took off either.

The result of this mentality resulted in a wall being built around my heart. When Candace, my wife, would compliment me on my guitar playing, I would acknowledge it but not receive it.

Thanks to Candace, I was recently made very aware of this problem and we worked through it together (by praying together in a parking lot--it's funny how God times things). But I still sometimes find myself frustrated by my inability to really invest myself in some type of art that could reach others.

However.

I think I'm beginning to realize something. I can't really put into words what I'm beginning to realize. I know that makes little sense. If I had to put this realization into words, it would be that I'm beginning to understand that every little thing I do is a part of a bigger whole.

There is no larger role for me other than the one I have been given.

I would say, for me, it's easier to see God in the extremes of life--pain, death, frustration, joy, happiness, laughter, fun. It's extremely difficult for me to see God in those inbetween moments that occur many times a day. Drinking coffee in the morning. Reading the news. Showering. The carpool drive to work and back home. Making my students laugh in class. Talking with co-workers during our plan periods. Hanging out at home. Making dinner. Cleaning up after dinner. Watching TV. Playing video games. Sleeping.

I am often frustrated because I feel like I do very little to--I'm not even sure how to put it--live as Christ would have. I don't heal people. I don't feed the hungry very often or clothe the poor. I don't stop and pick up every hitchhiker by the side of the road that I see. These are things that I feel are the milestones of the follower of Christ, yet I also feel I do very little to help others.

However.

The other day, I was talking with a fellow co-worker that I hadn't talked to in long time.

She said: "Hey Cary, we were just talking about you!"
I reply, "Really? What were you saying?"

Her reply really made my day.

She said: "Oh, about how you make the world a better place."

As my life as a follower of Christ has progressed, I've always wanted to give a voice to that inner feeling/yearning to complete some purpose God placed within me. I think I finally found it.

I want to make the world a better place.

The Bible Podcast

If you are like me, when it comes to reading non-fiction, you prefer audio. It is nice to have books in digital format to listen to while driving in the car. 

Most people have heard the Bible on CD by James Earl Jones. 

I struggle with seeing Darth Vader's face while listening. 

Anyway, my sister-in-law recommended The Bible Podcast. I listened to a few podcasts and I really like it. There is enough voice talent to make it easy to stay interested, but not so much that you feel like you are listening to a kids story.

Just go to the Itunes Store and search for "The Bible Podcast"

Or you can go to their website and download entire books at one time:  http://thebiblepodcast.org/podcast/

Hope you enjoy!

Snow

You ever have those moments where you feel like you are drowning in your own junk?

I do. 

I have them often. 

Today, I was talking to a new friend. He is drowning. He thinks that his sin has put up a wall between him and God.

It just doesn't work that way.

The Bible uses some cool terms to describe those of us that love Jesus. We are called "holy", "blameless", "saints" , "white as snow"...

"White as snow" is my favorite. 

If you ever find yourself doubting your worth, think of Paul. Unless you make a habit out of killing Christians, I don't think you can really put yourself on his level. Paul could not have started at a lower point. Look what he became!

Do you think that Paul's past sin ever haunted him? I don't see how it couldn't. Paul was a regular guy. He was just like you and me. If I am haunted by my mistakes, how could he not be?

My friend is white as snow. Just like Paul. Just like me. He just doesn't see it yet. 

We have been made completely spotless by Jesus. 

Think of it this way... 

Before Jesus came, what incentive did we give God to bail us out? 

NONE! We did nothing to deserve it. We were all guilty of sin and deserving of death. Without Jesus, sin drives us away from God. So, if during that time in history, God chose to send us Jesus, how much more forgiving must He be now that we are blameless?  

I can't stress that word enough. BLAMELESS. There is nothing that can be used against us. Once we take the gift of Jesus, we are saints. 

So, when you stumble or feel your junk start to pile up, remember that you are holy. At that moment you are presentable to God as a spotless being. You are white as snow! 

That is not a free pass to sin. If you love Jesus, you already know that.  

Love Jesus and He will help you work through your junk. Love Jesus and you will find yourself obsessed with trying to walk beside Him... white as snow.

Modern Temple

I'm currently listening to Travis. Their Invisible Band album is great for writing.

There is a reason that no posts have been made for several days. Cary and I have sort of been taking turns since this thing got started. Its been my turn...

So why haven't I posted? 

I've been feeling kinda down. I can blame stress, a crazy workload, a newborn son... 

There is a real reason. 

I haven't spent time with Jesus. My boss said it best, "You are starving yourself."

He is right. I have been spiritually starving myself. Prayer, praise, studying the word... these are ways to feed my soul. I haven't been doing any of these because I have been "too busy."

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Sarah and I have always had a place that was ours. In our first house, we had a huge front porch with a swing. We would go sit on the swing, have a glass of wine and talk for hours. We read the Chronicles of Narnia to each other out there. We read devotionals huddled under a blanket in the fall.

When we moved to Venice, FL we made our living room into our special place. We got rid of the television. We bought a huge bookshelf to replace it. We opened the windows and read books while the ocean air blew in. We smiled and talked about how amazed we were that God had chosen to love us despite all of our junk.

Now we are in Santo Domingo. Our bedroom balcony looks out at the city lights downtown. Palm trees sway when the wind blows. A couple of plastic chairs and a metal table did the trick. I'm sitting on the balcony as I write this. 

We have agreed to come out here every night. Even if it is just for ten minutes. We promised each other that we would spend this time together. 

You see, this balcony, our living room, our front porch... these are all places where we get to relax. We get to talk. We listen to music. We talk about everything God is doing in and around us. This balcony is a place to read my bible without distractions. 

I can sit here typing this blog post and feel happy. 

This balcony represents something more than just a place to sit. I can sit in my bedroom. We even have a rather nice rocking chair in there. This plastic chair hurts my butt. I choose to sit here because this is where I told myself that I will always make time for my family. More importantly, I have told myself that I will always make time for Jesus. This is my temple. 

Isn't that what a temple was intended to be? In the Old Testament the temple was a place to go to God. Sacrifices, tithes, offerings... were made at the temple. God never limited Himself to a small tent in the desert. That was just a place where the people could go to Him. God did this for them, not the other way around. 

Think about it. Does God need your money? Does god need you to kill a goat? Nope! God gave us a way to feel forgiven. God gave us a way to be a part of the cool things He is doing.

The temple changed with the New Testament. The temple became a place to take communion. The temple was a place to remember Jesus and to praise God for His awesome gift.

The temple exists because we do not fully understand that God is everywhere. I'm admitting that I can't wrap my mind around it either. I built a humble temple on my balcony. When those moments come and I feel isolated from God, I can walk out on my balcony and sit with Jesus. The reality is that He never left my side. 

I think we all need a temple. 

Most Christians would claim that the church is their temple. If you are one of those people, then let me ask you this: Do you feel relaxed, at peace, loved... when you are in church? If you don't, then where do you feel this way. That place is your temple.

My dad once told me that he felt closer to God on a golf course than anywhere else. I can finally relate.

When you realize that you have a place like this, invite Jesus in. If you don't have a place like this, go make one. Don't starve your soul. Take the time to pray, sing, paint, read, play golf... whatever you need to do to feel loved and in Christ's presence. Acknowledge that it is only because of Jesus that you get to feel this way. 

That is real worship. 

How do we worship?

In light of our music topic. . .


How many times have speakers at our various churches said something that left us feeling like we were some piece of crap God happened to find under a rock somewhere and decided, out of obligation, to save us?


During my more formative years as a Christian, when I was still learning the ropes and deciding on the "biggies" of what I believed to be truth, I often questioned whether I should be listening only to Christian music or not. Since I had time to grow up and develop a lot of my taste in music (Neil Young, Paul Simon) before I became a Christian, many of the artists I enjoyed were secular.


So I tried to convert my taste in music. I bought a Steven Curtis Chapman cd. I purchased some worship mixes. I tried to listen to my old music less and less while listening to the new, Christian stuff more.


Time passed. I found myself thinking about old songs I used to listen to. I would put in an old cd for a song or two and then switch it back out, feeling guilty the entire time. I told people, other Christians, I was trying to stop listening to secular music and they responded, "Me too!" But they seemed a lot more successful at it. I mean, come on--who else at my church, at my age, wanted to listen to old stuff like Neil Young and Paul Simon? Not many. I felt pretty alone. Pop-ish, Christian music was the norm.


At one point, a guest speaker came to my church and talked about how he was on a car ride with one of his youth and some of the kid's music (Marilyn Manson or something like that) queued up on the student's car cd player. The guest speaker said he took the kids music out of the cd player and tossed it out the window. He proceeded to throw out all the music that didn't "lift up Jesus." This youth later came and thanked him for helping him be set free.


That story made me feel so guilty. I missed all my old music. Maybe the next step was to burn it or give it all away!


Luckily, I never got that far. I'm not sure where or why, but I eventually came to my senses. I realized that the very reason I enjoyed much of my secular music was because some of it spoke to me on a spiritual level.


----------------

One such song that speaks to my heart as a Christian on a journey towards God is "Thrasher" by Neil Young.

This song talks about one man's journey toward truth and away from the things that distract or weigh him down--comfort, friends without vision, science that attacks spiritual beliefs, too much protection.

"With a one-way ticket to the land of truth,
And my suitcase in my hand..."

In my mind, this line describes his journey toward truth. It is my very favorite line of any song.

"The motel of lost companions waits with heated pool and bar.
But me I'm not stopping there,
got my own row left to hoe.
Just another line in the field of time. . ."

This highlights his temptation to sit, rest, relax versus his knowledge of the journey he has to undertake, his "line in the field of time."

For whatever reason, this song truly speaks to my heart and something deep within resonates the message and tone of this song. The desire for truth, the knowledge of my journey and responsibilities ahead--I see them now in a new and much more beautiful light than before.

Sadly, the beauty of this song was almost lost to me because I believed there were vices in my life that were not there. I have/had many vices, but my music choice simply was not one of them. The music I listen to, I listen to because it strikes some chord deep within me that helps me to voice the feelings I have about my journey, my adventure, and the path in which God has placed me.

How many times do we go to church or talk with other Christians and leave feeling like we need to "do better?" How often does the message leave us feeling guilty, like we are not good enough? These are not things Jesus communicated to his followers.

There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. He made us exactly as we are, music tastes and all, and that is exactly who we should be--ourselves. When we act as who God made us to be, we are, in fact, worshipping.

My wife, the future theater professor, is worshipping God when she studies, directs, acts, and teaches theater. My friend Andy is worshipping when he's playing hammered dulcimer and singing about whatever gibberish is in his head. I am worshipping when I'm listening to Neil Young and contemplating my journey towards him (Jesus) and away from distraction.

How do you worship God? What do you do that speaks to the core of who you are?

I'm happy to say I didn't throw any of my cd's away. I did get rid of my copies of Grand Theft Auto 3 (which I should have gotten rid of. that's one decision I don't regret), but that's another story. I happily listen to many different artists today, Christian and secular, and don't even pay attention to their spiritual title anymore. I simply listen to what they are saying in their music.

CaryJoice@gmail.com is my e-mail address. Feel free to contact me, or, simply comment on the site. The more honest, the better!

Peace, folks.

Jesus On the Radio

We talk about music a lot.

Thats not an apology.

I was listening to the song "Run" by Snow Patrol. This might be one of my favorite songs. It always reminds me of my good friend Cary. Specifically, it reminds me of the time his girlfriend (now wife) told him that the song makes her think of him. What a great song.

This is my favorite part:
"Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear."

The song took on new meaning recently.

My daughter, Evie, had a febrile seizure in the Springfield Airport. We were minutes away from boarding a plane. This was supposed to be the first leg of our move to the Dominican Republic. Instead, we skipped our flight and took an ambulance to the hospital. We didn't know what was going on. We were so scared.

The whole time I was in God's face. I demanded His attention. I begged for Him to hear me. It was a very raw prayer. I remember letting everything pour out. I pleaded, I cussed, I cried... In that moment I would have traded anything to know that Evie would be alright. In that moment, I didn't filter my prayer. It was real.

"Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear."

I couldn't hear His voice. I couldn't see His face. I was scared and I felt alone. He was right beside me. He answered my prayer before I even prayed it.

I am blown away that God revealed that to me through "Run".

The song carried a meaning for me for years. It reminded me of my friend. I sang the lyrics and thought of Cary and Candace. Then, when I faced sadness and fear, God reminded me of those lyrics to comfort me in a new way. The message was there in front of me all along.

The Bible works this same way!

They are just words. It is just a poem. It is just a story of a boy that threw a rock at a really bulky guy. We take a scholarly approach to interpreting the message. We take it at face value. How could we do anything else?

Then we have a moment in our life that changes us. The words become comfort. The words become joy. The words become something... spiritual. We are refined, grown, matured... through these words. We read a paragraph that we have read dozens of times, but now, we finally see.

Don't mishear me. I believe that this happens because these are the words of God. However, I do not believe the words of God are limited to just the Bible. I believe that the words of God can be in a song. I believe that God can speak to Cary in a breeze. I believe that God can speak to us in our dreams.

Truth is truth, regardless of the source.

Jesus will meet you in unexpected places sometimes. If you aren't careful, you might miss Him. Be ready. Expect Him. I never know when He will speak to me.

I never know when He is going to be on the radio.

Can you relate?

Leave a comment and share your stories. If you're not signed up to blogger... email me: johnniesen@gmail.com

God saying "hello"

Currently Listening To: Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Rich Mullins, in his song,"Elijah" states: "I wanna hear some music once again, 'cause it's the finest thing I've ever found." After reading John's last post, it brought to mind several songs that I think will always speak directly to the inner-most places of my heart and reminded me of how music is definitely one of the greatest things in the world.

I have to commute about 45 minutes or so each day to work. I managed to find a couple people to carpool with to work. With 45 minutes of driving, we have lots of conversations. Today, the talk happened to dance lightly around the subject of faith.

What brought it to this point was a Tom Petty song (Learnin' to Fly) that queued up on my cd player.

A discussion about Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers ensued. At some point, I randomly stated "I will never, EVER put 'Free Fallin' " on cd."

"why?" my carpool-ee asks

"Because, there are things in my life that I think God uses to communicate to me the importance of that particular moment. Whenever "Free Fallin' " comes onto the radio, I know deep inside that God is telling me 'Notice this moment. I'm here. I love you. It's all going to be okay.' It's like God uses that song to say 'Hello' to me in a very Cary way. There are other things He uses to do that as well--a few other songs (American Pie is another example), small whirlwinds full of leaves that are here and gone in moments. These things just remind me to appreciate each moment."

After this there was a slight awkward silence in the car. I really don't know how "religous" my carpool-mates are, but I am grateful for the opportunity to share my faith in kind of a side-ways method. A few light comments were made and the conversation moved on.

These moments I brought up in the carpool are far and few between, since little whirlwinds don't pop up that often and I never listen to the radio. But I can distinctly remember each of these times in my mind.

I've been a Christian long enough that I can't even really imagine not knowing that I've got this personal God that enjoys meeting me exactly where I'm at and meeting me at my level. We've got a God that likes to stoop down and simply say 'Hello'. That, to me, is one of the most wonderful and mysterioius things about our faith. And that's the faith I like to share with others. The loving, personal, freeing God who loves us as we are and doesn't sit in condemnation but simply draws us closer and closer to Him in whatever way we need at that moment.

Peace, folks.

codeword "Deathcab"

I sometimes struggle with finding my place within the Christian community. There are those times when I sit down to talk with a Pastor. I immediately put on my mask.

"How are you John?"

"Blessed... blessed." 

There isn't anything wrong with that response... if you mean it. I don't always. I rarely talk like that, so when I do, it is almost always fake. 

You see, there are currently 2 versions of myself. John and Christian John take turns, depending on the audience. It can be a mangled mess. 

I want to be Christian John, but I don't want to alienate anyone. I don't think Jesus walked around with a cheesy smile and a stiff handshake. I want to make friends and be loved. I don't always know which version of myself can accomplish this better.

Then something happened.

This summer, my family was touring the mid-west visiting friends. We stayed with a pastor and his wife for several days. We were really uncomfortable when we first got together. The first few hours we were walking on eggshells. We tried to keep the conversation about church or missions work... you know, things pastors talk about. 

They told us that some friends were going to join us for dinner. Their friends showed up and they seemed to be just like us. Come to think of it, even the pastor and his wife seemed more like us. I wondered if I could open up to these people. I couldn't think of anything else. What if we are all just normal people? 

During dinner I was asked what kind of music I listened to. This was my chance. I could lie and name some band that is ALWAYS on the Christian radio station. Or, I could take off my mask and reveal a sinner. 

"Um, I like this band called Snow Patrol."

"Oh yea. They're really good. Have you heard of Deathcab for Cutie?"

I was in. No more masks.  

"I love Deathcab!"

The rest of the night was great. We talked about music, friends, Jesus... It was a very organic evening. It was beautiful. That moment was a catalyst in my life.  

We have these new friends. They came over for dinner a few weeks ago. They wanted us to play some music on Itunes. I was nervous for a second. I wondered if they would be offended by my taste in music. Then I remembered what happened this summer. I decided to play my favorites list. 

"No way! Hey Linds, they like Deathcab!"

I think there are millions of us. There are millions wearing masks that are really cool people underneath. The best way to find these really cool people is to take off your mask. They will take theirs off as soon as you do. In my experience, they are secretly hoping for a chance to relax and be real.

You see, Jesus doesn't want us to be fake. When we are fake, we are still our regular sinner selves. We've just covered that with a lie. 

So here it is. There will be no masks worn by the authors of this blog. We will offend before we will lie. 

Come at us with your junk. We have plenty of our own. 

Lets show the world Jesus. Lets surround ourselves with His grace.

- John

Jesus Blog

A friend of mine just had a great idea.

"Hey, let's combine all our thoughts, writings, songs, ideas and old blogs into one!"

This is Jesus Blog and that's what it is. In theory, we will have many various writings, both creative and cognitive, depending on what mood the writer is in.

We will see what happens.

Peace, folks.